THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
