Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
