dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
