Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
