Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
