she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
