windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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