words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
