Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Holy shit dude........stairs
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
