My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
