I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
