Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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