You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we're so committed to being not committed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize