Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
