Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
