I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
