Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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