OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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