Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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