"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i will never coherently bang her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
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