you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
