Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Say something about gay babies.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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