i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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