Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
