Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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