So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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