so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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