Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
