Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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