Your dad touched me again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Floor bacon is actually really good
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
