People in love make me want to vomit
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
