he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize