I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
