it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
