As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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