I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
