Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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