I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
