I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
