my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
