Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
