That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
