member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
