I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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