Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
