so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
