he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
