Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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