hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
