she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That reminds me...we need to get swords
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
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