? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
