just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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