what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
