@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
