just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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