u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
