I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
