im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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