dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
